Running Away

I am annoyed. Scratch that. I am overwhelmed, annoyed and generally irritated and I want to run away and leave all my responsibilities, with the exception of my dog, behind and not look back. I want to light a match and flick it over my shoulder and let it catch in the kindling of my life and let it burn so that I might start anew.

Walking away and not looking back is such the polar opposite of my core personality that it has such appeal. But the bitter reality is that I am too much of a responsible person to every do such a thing. So I face my responsibilities and I work to resolve any issues that I have. I work to improve my situation, my self and any talents that I have, knowing that self-fulfillment will be the end result. A quick fix is a sweet and tempting fantasy, but the filling nutritious reality of hard work and perseverance are enduring and eternal.

I can’t leave my family or my friends. My life would be empty without their love and support. Really, if I was to be completely honest, I would take them all with me, then they’d take all their loved ones with them and in the end the whole world would be right back in my space again.

So, while I might be annoyed and overwhelmed at the moment with life and the world, it’s my life and my world and it is what I choose to make of it that makes it worth living in.

Remembering the year 2001

Today is the sixth anniversary of September 11th. For Americans, this date is associated with so many emotions. For those whose birthdays fall on this day, for those who have other celebratory occasions a shadow mars marking of their rites of passage a pall now falls over a day that should be a day of celebration. But for every one who lost a person, whether it was a father, mother, brother, sister, daughter, son, lover, spouse, or friend, and their lives were irrevocably scarred, the way that a soldier is when wounded, a hole torn in their psyche, always there. For me it was one more thing to mark a terrible year. My father’s passing marked the beginning of the year; then six months to the day the terrorist attack of September 11th added heartbreak of the year. September 11, 2001 is a day that is now linked with infamy, like December 7, 1941, or April 19, 1995. The date cannot be said without people thinking about where they were or what they were doing.

But here is what I take away from the year 2001. The human heart and mind are resilient and amazing organs. Because, despite the devastation and personal loss suffered by so many that year. People are still filled with hope. People’s hearts still have holes where loved ones lost should be, but their hearts continue to function and their capacities to love and learn have not been diminished. Those lost are remembered through the great and small works that are being done in their memories to honor them.

To dwell on the events are not productive. To protect ourselves from events repeating themselves again is prudent. To remember is human. To live our lives is to show those who would harm us that they may not control us through fear. I will not live in fear, but I will do what I can to make this world a better place.

Tragedy will always happen, but how we respond to its aftermath will show us who is touched by grace. We have enough knee-jerk reaction in the world, it is time to see the world by the heart that has been broken and still beats for it’s brother. It is time to see our brothers and sisters through the eyes of divinity.

Mandalas

There are times when words cannot calm the complexity of the mind the way that shape and form can. Please enjoy my shape and form.

Bearing Witness

I know that a lot has been said about the state of affairs of Michael Vick, but I have to say my bit. I hope that the man serves time in jail and that he loses his NFL standing. Because as 5 p.m. today the owners of the 50 pitbulls, seized from the property owned by Michael Vick in the State of Virginia, have to step forward to claim dogs if not, all fifty will be euthanized. Now, I’m not saying that I believe that the dogs could be rehabilitated. They were all in a dog fighting environment, that will have affected them in some fashion. I do not know if I could ever trust one of those dogs with a child in my care. I believe that it is 95% environment that effects a dog and 5% temperment. And their formative environment has been too traumatic.

But back to my point. 50 innocent dogs, 50 innocent creatures, are being put down because of the greed and profiteering of this man and his friends. I do not feel that he should represent any sport, product, or group. He should be shunned and stripped of his possesions. He should not be afforded luxury nor fame. He should be treated just as those dogs were treated. Fought to exhaustion, patched up and fought again and again. If he showed that he was strong enough, maybe forced to breed. Until one day he failed, then he would be put down unceremoniously. Unmourned, uncared for, his body dumped in a hole in the ground in some back field. Callusly discarded, as he discarded life.

Some might say that I am valuing the dog over the human. I say no, I am not. I am valuing life in general. It has been proven over and over. Men and women who abuse animals turn around and abuse people, thereby creating a terrible cycle of abuse. The Michael Vick story is not just about dogfighting and animal abuse, it is about abusive behavior and an entire sub-strata of culture that glorifies violence. There is an entire sub-strata of our culture that has bought into the glorification of violence. The pimp’s and ho’s, the objectification of the body, both male and female. The denigration of holy things and the acceptance of the unholy.

Michael Vick has said “I’m guilty”, but nothing about his demeanor has changed. He walks to and fro in his designer suits knowing that he will have his money when he gets out of jail and that his reputation will only be enhanced by his encarceration.

Here's the thing, the ONLY thing that matters, this life is the key to the next. Our Father in Heaven marks every deed and every action in our individual books of life. How we conduct ourselves here in this life will lead us to glory or damnation. Those we help and those we harm will bear witness for and against us during our final Judgment. They are the witness of our lifes. The innocent animals will also bear witness of cruelties and kindnesses borne. After tonight, I would not want to be Vick. Not after 50 more dogs are ready to bear witness on his judgement day.

Frogs & Dogs

I caught a frog on Saturday, much to the delighted horror of my six year old neighbor. She shriek with girly horror at it as our dogs tried to snuffle it out of existence. It all started with Maddie, the 80 pound puppy going berserk at the kiddie wading pool we had out for the dogs. Neither dog really use the pool for anything other than a quick drink. She was in full hunt mode. Dee and I were talking, we couldn’t figure out what Maddie was going nuts over. So we went over to investigate.

Swimming frantically around the pool, hiding under various dog toys was a small frog. Feeling sorry for the poor frog I swooped in a picked up the poor frog. I’m not sure who was more surprised, the dog, the frog, the neighbors or me. But the frog was cupped in the safety of my hand the dogs were frantically circling the frogless pool and my neighbor was laughing like a loon.

Gently, I uncupped my hands and looked at the frog. The frog looked at me with it’s dark amber eyes, unsure of its new circumstances, it’s current position gave it no place to jump. Playfully I pursed my lips and got ready to kiss the frog, one never knew when a frog could turn into a prince. My neighbors all shrieked with laughter and I think I saw the frog flinch. Just for the record no lips touched any amphibian, but it was worth the reaction.

I went to put the frog in a quiet part of the back yard, when the dogs realized that I had the frog, and I had put the frog down. Now in the dogs defense, neither one had ever seen a frog. They had no desire to harm it in anyway. They just wanted to see what it was. And in doggy fashion, that meant a lot of sniffing, and an occasional paw of death. Frogs are hardy, but not that hardy.

Once more, I swooped in and picked up the frog, went over to the dog dish and rinsed him off to revive him. Looked at the dogs and said “SIT”. They both sat, anticipating a treat, not realizing that I was heading for the back gate to liberate the frog on the other side where it could find another place to live without the interference of the dogs.

End of the story, the frog hopped off into the world and the dogs spent the rest of the afternoon following its really convoluted trail through the yard. The frog knew when to get out of Dodge.

Nobel Peace Prize for REALLY COOL PowerPoint Presentations

Al Gore got a Nobel Peace Prize and I didn’t, I’m very annoyed about that. Let me tell you why I’m annoyed. The man is not a scientist, yet he has gotten recognition for warning the world about global warming and having a REALLY COOL PowerPoint presentation. I can do really cool things with PowerPoint and the Nobel Prize committee is not knocking on my door offering me tons of free press and a million dollar prize.


Look, Al Gore is not a stupid man by any means. He is savy and astute, but he took a bunch of facts strung them together in the worst possible way and went on the lecture circuit where he was paid handsomely to say ‘The Sky Is Falling!’. The science he presented was holey and ill-conceived at best, yet he is being recognized as a Nobel Prize Winner.

I’m bothered most by pop-science taking precedence over hardworking scientists who work their entire careers without ever getting one iota of recognition. The world might be warming up, but humans have been inhabiting the planet a mere 150,000 years compared to its several billion year history. Who are we to determine what is normal?

I believe that we have a duty to protect our planet and serve as stewards to its resources. But we can’t go running after every pseudo scientific theory that turns up. We humans are an imaginative lot. We think a lot and don't always think things through (look at 8-track tapes). But we adapt or die trying. The Sahara was once a vast jungle, were we humans the cause of its desertification? If you go by what Gore has stated in his current pseudo scientific schlock, we are. The planet cycles through its phases and will continue to do so.

We need to stop drawing lines in the sand and stating in ‘hard facts’ how the planet should behave, when the reality is we have absolutely no idea. We are mere tenants, who should use our surroundings a little more gently.

I still feel that I should get a Nobel Peace Prize for REALLY COOL PowerPoint presentations if Al Gore gets one.

Ode to the Mosquito

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“DAMN MISSED”

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